Why Is Family Important?
“The family is where we first learn to love.” – Pope Francis
The Nuclear Family
The nuclear or conjugal family (that is, the family that consists of Mom, Dad, and children) is the ordered vision God has in mind for human relationships. There are three distinct categories that members of a family can fit into: the role of mother, the role of father, and the role of offspring. Mom and Dad’s love begets new life. Together, they make one family. This mirrors the life of God in the Holy Trinity: God the Father begets the Son, and these two divine Persons eternally generate the Holy Spirit, who is the Love between Father and Son. The natural, nuclear family is designed by God to be a model of love and to direct creation back to its Creator. Because there is a natural order to family life, family members tend to be healthier and happier when they share authentically in God’s plan for their family.
Effects of Healthy Relationships
Pope Francis said it is in the family that we first learn to love. The family should be rooted in love; it should be grounded in Jesus, for He is love (see 1 John 4:8). Love brings people together. It makes us do the tough things for those we love. But when we focus on ourselves too much and on our personal desires, we can become selfish. If we do this, it displays a lack of love. Such deficits of love can lead to hurt feelings, loneliness, indifference, neglect, divorce, or verbal or physical abuse.
Parents have a crucial role to play in educating their children, particularly by way of example. If kids see Mom and Dad in a loving relationship, they have a good example of how to act toward others in the family and in the wider community. This illustrates what St. John Paul II said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.”
Effects of Unhealthy Relationships
Many studies draw helpful, although unfortunate, connections between dysfunctional family relationships and the diminished well-being of children. Divorce or separation, for example, deeply impacts the children of a relationship.
As of 2022, 2.4 of every 1,000 people in the U.S. had been divorced. Divorce touches the lives of countless individuals, including kids. Children in single-parent families are 1.5 to 2 times more likely to experience suicidal thoughts and engage in early sexual relationships. Children of divorced parents often feel a sense of loss and can display aggressive traits. The London Journal of Primary Care says studies show that neglect, parental inconsistency, and a lack of love can bring on long-term mental health problems and reduced happiness. Single parents can also experience high rates of depression and anxiety. In an optimal home life, the family is important because it provides love and support. Time with family can boost confidence, hone future parenting skills, and teach conflict resolution.
Parents as Teachers
In the Catechism, we read, “The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. ‘The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is impossible to provide an adequate substitute.’ The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable” (CCC 2221). And elsewhere: “Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children” (2223).
This means parents are responsible for teaching their children about God, His love for them, and how to respond to that love. No other aspect of life is more important to communicate! Before any teacher or catechist, parents are the primary instructors and exemplars of the Faith. Parents also teach children self-control and social skills.
Should We Even Have Kids?
Aren’t kids a big responsibility? Won’t they take time away from my career? Don’t they cost a lot? Do I really want to bring someone else into this broken world that is already overcrowded?
These are the questions our culture poses. The points they make each have varying degrees of truth and falsehood. Firstly, children ARE a responsibility. It’s the parents’ job to love and care for their children just as our parents did for us. Secondly, children do not have to take away from someone’s career. Flexible work environments and affordable childcare can make both dreams come true! Thirdly, per an Illinois Cares for Kids article from 2023, raising a child costs an average of $15,000-17,000 a year. To put that in perspective, a couple spends an average of $30,000 on their wedding. In short, parents can grow accustomed to new lifestyles conducive to raising a family.
The Overpopulation Myth
Lastly, overpopulation concerns are exaggerated. Population growth peaked decades ago and has fallen since then. In 2022, the world witnessed only 1% population growth. Analysts expect this trend of decreasing fertility rates to continue. As Dr. Hannah Ritchie says, those who fear a population crisis look at human beings as a cancer to be eliminated, and they do not account for the fact that, thanks to innovation, humans produce much more food per person nowadays than in decades past, despite billions more people living on Earth.
In fact, several parts of the world face sub-replacement fertility, or a level of fertility too low to replace the population from one generation to the next. But regardless of the data, Christians believe God made this planet for us. We must trust that its space and resources are sufficient. God created us to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28).
